I grew up in the northwest section of Baltimore. It was all Jewish.
In fact, I didn't even think of it in those terms.
I just assumed everyone was Jewish.
Abrams.
The whole world was Jewish.
Ackerman.
I remember when I was in the second grade...
... the first clue that some people were different occurred to me then.
Cohen.
Der.
I even thought Ping Der was Jewish.
The "Ping" part didn't sound Jewish, but I assumed it was a nickname.
Her brother's name was Minhuey, and that definitely sounded Jewish.
I sensed there was a world beyond what I knew...
... when I had lunch at Butch Johnson's house.
Something wrong, Ben?
No. This is fine. I just never had raw bread before.
We always cook it. You know, toast it.
I can do that.
There's too much white here. The milk's white, the bread's white.
It's all white stuff.
What do you normally have?
Not this.
What was on the bread?
Luncheon meat. I've never heard of it.
Not bologna? Not salami?
No, luncheon meat with mayonnaise and milk.
Everything was white.
Well, they must not be Jewish.
They're the other kind.
A couple of years later, I began to realize...
... that the other kind was about 99% of the world.
I went to school thinking everyone was Jewish.
Now I know almost no one is Jewish.
The other kind.
I was reminded of that revelation the summer Murray, Sheldon and myself...
... went to the Turkey Hills Swim Club.
She's gotta be the most beautiful girl on earth.
Look at those cigarettes. So sexy.
So sexy.
She's gotta be wild. If she's doing that with a pack of cigarettes...
...she's gotta be wild.
- How'd they come up with that order? - What?
That Jews should be first.
Yeah, I would've thought it'd be dogs, coloreds, then Jews.
Must've been some meeting to come up with that. Some guy had to say:
"I have to say, Jews bother me more than the dogs. "
So now a dog goes there. Does he read the sign and leave?
I would've put dogs first.
A dog can take a piss. You're walking barefoot.
A Jew's not gonna lift his leg and pee on the wall.
You know, I've never seen a colored person swim or sunbathe, period.
Did you?
Now that you mention it, I don't think I have.
I'm thinking Atlantic City. That's a lot of people on that beach.
Never seen a colored on the beach.
This is definitely directed more at the Jews then.
The school year begins in one week...
... and all schools will implement the new integration law.
Baltimore school district officials do not anticipate any problems...
... implementing the new law.
Summer faded away.
The "summer faded away" and what?
The end of summer.
A composition of what you did last summer.
It's hard to read.
What's that word?
"Jewish. "
- "Jewish," I think. - "Jewish"?
I'll be back in a little while.
Like clockwork. If it's Rosh Hashanah, Nate and Charlie must pay a visit.
What can I say? It's tradition.
The cantor sings, that's our cue to see the new Caddy.
Pretty. Pretty in green.
They call it "mist green. "
Is that what they call it?
I thought you'd look at the convertible.
Ada keeps talking four doors, convenience.
Carl Zeitsoff was in. I told him you were coming to see the new Caddies.
6-9-9. He always bets the same number.
For 10 years it is the same number.
It would've been a shock if it was another number.
Any price increase this year?
Let's look at the paperwork. I haven't had a chance to look it over.
It just literally came in.
Get a haircut.
I'm letting it grow like Samson's.
How are the coloreds doing in school?
They're doing good. They're getting better grades than I am.
Girl's attractive.
What?
She's attractive.
Just kill me now. Just kill me now.
What?
What do you mean?
Pretty.
Oh, my God!
I said she was attractive. That doesn't mean I'm attracted to her.
She's attractive.
Where's the jawbone of the ass?
The jawbone of the ass. Where is it?
Is he crazy? What talk is this?
Your ass does not have a jawbone.
Samson fought the Philistines with the jawbone of an ass.
- Not your ass. An animal. - There's an animal called an "ass"?
Such a mouth.
Look, I loved Samson and Delilah.
I hope they bring that movie back.
"He slew hundreds with the jawbone of an ass. "
Do you believe this stuff?
I don't know.
What do you mean? It's in the Bible.
That makes it true?
It's in the Bible. A story.
Yeah, a true story?
It's not the question if it's true.
If it's in the Bible, it's for a reason.
What reason?
A good reason!
That's the reason?
It's there. He had long hair. He was strong.
He knocked the building down. He killed the goyim.
- Finish of the story. - There weren't gentiles yet. Pagans.
Pagans, schmagans, gentiles. Something, but not Jewish.
We know. If they're not Jewish, they're...
...the other kind.
Go make yourselves busy.
Your father's not gonna be home for almost an hour. Go watch television.
- They call it "mist green. " - I think it's "green mist. "
Tell Louie to park the car in back. We'll be coming out for dinner.
- Do Ada and the boys like it? - Benny likes convertibles.
Can I help you?
I'm here to see the-the-the...
The physician.
- What's the thought? - I don't know.
But burlesque is finished.
TV puts us in the shithouse.
How often can you watch Milton Berle wear a dress?
There's a lot of good shows. Did you see Marty?
"What do you wanna do, Marty?" "What do you wanna do?"
What are you talking about?
Guy can't get a date. He's shy. He's a butcher.
- Do I care? - I thought you saw it.
"Ma, I'm an ugly man. I'm a butcher. Nobody wants me. "
Don't you understand the problem I've got?
I have to declare to the IRS that I make more...
...with this burlesque house than I do...
...to keep them off my ass, or they'll start looking at what else I do.
Last time I looked, running a numbers racket was illegal.
God forbid they look in the audience, see how many people we have.
To be a realist...
...we've got two years in this joint, tops.
So where are they...? Where are you from?
Don't get personal. Let me listen to your heart.
The new Caddy this year costs more. Next year, more still.
Same dollars from our take on the numbers is not good business.
Everybody, put on your thinking caps...
...and figure how we can raise the revenue.
I think we can do better.
Everybody's waiting for me on a Rosh Hashanah dinner.
I got an idea.
Put on your thinking caps. We don't need an answer now.
Nate, I got something good.
Make it quick.
We introduce a fourth digit as a bonus number.
Double the pot.
How do you pay for it?
It's 10 percent of the original bet.
If it's 50 cents, it's an additional 5 cents; 60 cents, 6 cents...
... 70 cents, 7 cents; a buck, 10 cents...
If a person is a Communist or a Socialist, what does that mean?
If you're a Communist and wanna blow up a building...
...or sell secrets to a spy, that's different.
But if you believe in different economics, it should have no effect.
- Period. - Well, I can't write that.
I could. You just can't read it.
Such a sloppy writer. It won't look good if you get older.
I have no idea what this has to do with McCarthy.
McCarthy pushes his ideals and beliefs...
...with intimidation, and that is very dangerous.
What do I wear for Halloween?
You always change the subject. Why do you always go off on a tangent?
I'm thinking McCarthy, witch hunts...
...witches, Halloween. What do I wear?
Go as a pirate.
See? Your grandmother has the perfect solution.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
...I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me...
...in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointest my head with oil...
You stuck on Sylvia?
I saw you eyeing her during the 23rd Psalm.
I was watching her pray.
She was really into it.
I mean, her head was bowed, her eyes were closed.
She was really praying.
- Would you take her out? - You kidding?
Not in public. You know, on the sly or something.
Look, Sheldon, I was watching her pray.
I was wondering what she was thinking. I was curious.
You know, colored girls are great with sex.
- That so? - Proven fact.
- Where do you get your facts? - I accumulate this information.
For one, colored guys got huge schlongs.
Twice the size of a white guy's.
Where do you come up with this?
Unless you haven't noticed...
...we got a colored guy in our class. Wilbert Mosley.
I took a shower with him.
Mine's all shriveled up from the water. I got maybe an inch.
His is halfway down to his knees, I swear to God.
Give me a break.
I swear to God, his knees. It was giving me an inferiority complex.
So I'm thinking this circumcision thing we have done...
...it's not just about clipping innocent foreskin.
It's about stunting its growth.
You gotta be kidding.
- I'm talking about Wilbert's schlong. - Humongous.
He didn't believe me.
See that girl?
Wilbert could tap her from here.
It's tied to his leg when it's not in use.
Good guy. Smart as shit. Lets me cheat off him.
Ben is taken with Sylvia.
Would you give it a rest?
- My parents would die. - Your parents?
Her father's a big doctor at Provident Hospital. Wealthy.
You're way too low-class. You try to take her out, her father would flip.
Plus you're Jewish.
Give it 45 minutes.
You gotta take a shower with Wilbert.
You will be amazed.
You gotta be kidding.
See you later, Ma.
Ben's upstairs.
You're not getting dressed?
I'm a beatnik.
That's some outfit.
Ben, let's go!
You're gonna go as reindeers?
- We're Vikings. - Vikings?
They're from here?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Ada! Oh, my God.
Have you lost your mind?
Have you completely lost your mind?
What do you mean? It's Halloween.
There's something wrong with this boy. He's a lunatic.
Bubbe, the war was over forever ago.
I can't breathe.
Where do you think you're going?
To a party. It's Halloween.
You are not leaving this house dressed as Adolf Hitler!
It's Halloween. That's the joke.
Couldn't you have gone as a pirate? Or a reindeer?
Take that off, or I call your father. You are not going out of this house!
It took me forever to get this costume.
I had to go to Sunny Surplus downtown to get boots like these!
Adolf Hitler is in the hallway.
I'm calling your father now. You are not going out.
What do you guys think?
It might be a tad too much.
If we got this new system worked out with the numbers...
...we should start.
It's the end of October. We should go with it second week in November.
Let me see if we can nail down a date.
Gaiety.
Pete, put Nate on the phone.
He looks like Adolf Hitler?
He can stay in the house all night. He's not going out dressed as Hitler.
Your father says you're not going out dressed that way.
And I'm not changing.
He says he's not changing.
I wanna talk to Hitler.
He has a swastika on his arm and big black boots!
He's wearing big black boots!
He came down the stairs in them with swastikas all over!
Put the Führer on the phone.
Your father wants to talk to you.
Sorry.
You guys can go without me.
You sure?
Yeah, I'm having Halloween here.
What's wrong with boys today?
They have no sense of history.
The war ended when he was 7. It's now nine years later.
To a kid, that's a lifetime. To us, it's a blink of an eye.
Why does my kid have to dress up like Hitler?
- He's not going trick-or-treating? - No.
"Trick or treat. Hitler's here. "
That'd look great in our neighborhood.
That's good.
We have to cross Falls Road to get to this party.
Yeah, so?
Gentile turf.
Nick Campbell said this is gonna be a good party.
I don't know. Across Falls Road. Oh, boy.
Get ready, folks! Jews are a-coming!
So where do you live?
Forest Park.
Forest Park?
Off Liberty Heights.
That's Jewish, isn't it?
Damn near, yeah. Lot of Jews.
Seems more is moving in too, you know?
It's getting that way.
Halt!
Do not shpritz on the general!
I go to the University of Baltimore.
That's nice.
My major is economics.
It's sort of a set subject.
Not much room for expressionism, you know?
Yeah, right.
I don't get to talk to people much.
Do you know everyone here?
These are all your friends?
Yes, we all go to school together.
- Pretty much. - Nice people.
Excuse me.
Oh, my God!
Say, does that magic wand make any wish come true?
It hasn't worked yet.
What did you wish for?
Well, that's too personal a question.
I didn't mean to be too personal. Sorry.
Are you afraid of being too intimate?
Or do you prefer small talk?
Kind of got me off guard.
Should I be more predictable?
Be whatever your heart desires.
Close your eyes.
Make a wish.
Was that it?
How you doing?
You didn't know?
Okay. She's your girl. I'm very sorry. I didn't know.
There isn't a guy who doesn't know that I go with Mary.
Here I am. You found one, okay? No hard feelings.
Wait a minute, smart guy.
Got a question.
Where you from?
I'm from Forest Park.
Jewish?
What's your point?
It's just a question.
- Do you have a point? - It's just a question.
I'm not here to answer your stupid questions.
Stop it! Ted, it was nothing!
I'm just asking if he was Jewish. No big deal.
Fuck you, Tab Hunter.
- Stop it, Ted! - Get off me!
Not inside! Outside! Outside.
Fine. Outside.
Jesus! He won't even say he's Jewish.
Oh, shit.
- Give me a beer. - Get me one too.
Not now.
Van, we got trouble.
It's Yussel.
I'm sorry, excuse me. I'll be right back.
I'm gonna kill you guys.
Okay, listen up.
This is between us, all right? Nobody interferes.
Hold on a second, all right? Come here. What are you doing?
What did I tell you?
I said that crossing Falls Road was a mistake!
I'll get you out of this.
Will you relax? Stop. What are you doing?
Stop acting like this.
I'm gonna bury this blond bastard, and then we'll get out of here.
Come on. I'm just gonna slap you. Come on.
It's a really simple question.
Are you Jewish?
Get up! Come on!
All you have to do is say it, and it's over.
It's really a simple question. Are you Jewish?
You say it, it's over. Okay?
That's enough, Ted!
Say it!
Say it! Say it, and it's over!
Jesus Christ!
What kind of party is this? Let's go, slugger.
No, I'm okay. I had him set up, believe me.
Some great strategy.
Trey! Trey, are you all right?
You okay?
I'm good.
The night is young.
He was getting winded.
Where's that girl?
Forget that girl. Let's get the hell out of here.
What girl's he talking about?
What are you doing? Let's go.
Let's go!
You missed a little fisticuff back there.
This is very unfortunate.
You know, it's obvious the smiling pumpkins distracted me.
Cinderella!
Okay, let's go, let's go. Now.
We gotta get out of here!
Does this thing open?
What are you doing?
Can I see you sometime?
Let's go. Now.
You know, that... Will you guys give me a break for a minute?
Wait a minute!
Cinderella!
I'm gonna kill you.
- Got any beer? - I know they have hard liquor.
Let's see what we can dig up.
Sorry I'm late for the ball, sweetheart.
Well, that's a first for you.
Little cut there.
Tried to park.
I didn't even get her name.
Story's all over the place. This guy talked his date into blowing a horse.
How do you talk her into blowing a horse?
- Don't believe it, then. - Get back to logic.
Where's a horse in Washington, unless it's a police horse?
And where's the cop?
Exactly.
Nice feathers, boys. Where's Ben?
- He's at home celebrating. - I knew they wouldn't let him out.
He's stubborn.
- Tell me about it. - You hear about Sinatra?
We're going to the movie, getting out of the car.
He says, "Can't get out until Sinatra finishes. "
I tried to get out. He grabs me and yells, "No one walks out on Sinatra. "
We had to listen to the song, then go.
- Like I don't know. - We were late for the movie.
I didn't understand it until two hours into it.
- That's impossible. - It is.
You think about it. Why spend a night with any kind of horse...
...when you can have Francis the Talking Mule?
He's a mule.
- A mule! - That's another thing.
It's not as big a feat if you blow a mule.
Is a mule or horse bigger?
I'd have to say a horse, because mules are incapable of reproducing.
How do they reproduce?
They're incapable of reproducing. They don't.
Do they have sperm?
- How do they make more mules? - They breed horses and donkeys.
- How could you not get her name? - I was flummoxed.
- She did the thing with the wand... - Good luck finding her.
I got a bad case of blue balls right now. I love this girl.
You'll be in love alone. She's history.
I am not going back over there...
...with that Tab Hunter. That son of a bitch.
He wanted to know.
When was the last time you wanted to know if someone was Catholic?
Or Episcopalian or Methodist? Who gives a shit?
What's the difference between all those groups?
They all pray to Christ.
It's fine to have a Jew hanging over the bed.
Just don't have him come through the front door.
A dead Jew is okay. I think that's the operative word.
Go figure. They all pray to a Jew.
In a way, they're all reformed Jews at heart.
I gotta find this girl.
You're gonna have to pray to God.
A gentile God, mind you.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness...
...for His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
... I will fear no evil...
...for Thou art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest...
... a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointest my head with oil.
My cup runneth over.
- Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life...
... and I will dwell in the house of the Lord...
...forever.
Amen.
You got into a real brouhaha this weekend.
You already heard?
I had a police officer at my door.
Why? That fight was no big deal.
No, about the car crash.
- Why's a cop come and see you? - About you guys.
Us? Why?
The cop said he heard that you were eyewitnesses to the accident.
A lot of people saw that. Why do they need us?
I don't know.
The guys must be goofing with us.
A lot of people saw this. They don't need us.
The cops said Trey Travelstead was driving recklessly...
...and running pumpkins over.
He ran through the patio, and there were three guys from another part of town.
I knew names.
What, you gave the cops our names?
It wasn't a big deal.
That's terrific, you know? Come here.
There was this girl there. I flipped out on her. She was incredible.
- What's her name? - I don't know.
You know them. Maybe you could ask around.
What does she look like?
She's gorgeous. Blond. She looked like Cinderella.
She dressed like Cinderella. She had a magic wand and everything.
Cinderella didn't have a magic wand.
It's not important if Cinderella had a wand. This girl had one.
Help me find this girl with the magic wand.
She's gorgeous, blond and carries a magic wand.
I'm Ben. I'm in your homeroom.
I know.
Where are you going? I thought you lived around school.
Downtown. I'm going downtown.
Can I ask you a question?
I guess.
I always watch you say the 23rd Psalm, and you seem so...
...you seem so absorbed.
Why?
Why do you ask?
I've never seen someone so reverential, I guess.
For me, it's just a moment to myself, that's all.
The big question is you.
Me?
Yeah, well, you're Jewish. So what's the 23rd Psalm about for you?
I never really thought of it as religious.
It's just something I've been saying since first grade.
And?
Well, I always thought of the 23rd Psalm like the national anthem.
It's just something you say before the game starts.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
What does that mean to you?
Honestly?
No idea.
No idea?
Nobody's making me lie down...
...and I don't know where these green pastures are.
Has anyone ever anointed your head with oil?
Has your cup ever runneth over?
No, it hasn't.
I'm going downtown.
It's my stop.
I thought you lived downtown.
Is that where I'm supposed to live?
Wait!
Sylvia, wait. Can I walk with you?
Can I walk with you?
I don't know if this is a good idea.
I mean, we're getting close to my house.
My father comes home in the afternoon on occasion.
He would not be thrilled to see me walking home with a white boy.
I understand.
- Sorry. - It's okay.
You know what? Wait here.
I'll get my mom's car and pick you up. Get in fast, and get on the floor.
I talked with our guys.
I'm getting great feedback on the bonus bet.
Mr. Kurtzman?
My costume didn't arrive here. What should I do?
Did you call suppliers?
They said it should be here, but it's not, so I think it's lost.
You'll just have to make do with what's in storage.
No. I only wear my own outfits, and they're very expensive.
What can I tell you?
I'm not wearing...
...anybody else's costume on my body.
Do I need this?
Get in.
Hurry up. Come on.
- Get on the floor. - What?
Get on the floor.
Is this really necessary?
He's really good.
You never heard him before?
No, I only listen to the regular radio.
You listen to "regular radio"?
What is this? What am I listening to?
The other kind of... The other radio stations.
There's a place near the zoo. No one will see us there.
I think we should go to the zoo.
Yeah, great. Good. The zoo.
Does your dad know Cab Calloway?
Why would you ask that?
Well, he went to Douglass High. You know, the Negro school.
No, he doesn't.
What about Billie Holiday?
What, just because we're Negro, we should know all the Negroes?
I don't know. Maybe.
Do you know Albert Einstein, then?
No, but I think my family knows some of the Einsteins.
Are you serious?
You think she could find one outfit?
She's got some germ thing.
She doesn't like to wear anybody else's stuff.
This is very unique.
I've got a stripper who's dressed like my cousin Marcia.
This is nuts. The odds on finding this girl are like one in a million.
Trust me, okay? I have a feeling she's there.
We have to find the neighborhood...
...and she has to be coincidentally...
...walking around at this time.
Nick Campbell is checking her out. You can't give him time?
I can't. I can't wait. She's on my mind all the time.
What are we supposed to do?
Just look for the glow of the girl's tiara?
I think I see somebody with a magic wand.
If you guys would stop talking and look around, please.
She'll be the one person walking around?
I hope she doesn't hurt herself.
Where the hell are we right now? Where are we?
I don't know. We must've left the area.
- Great! - I'm sorry.
I have other things on my mind.
This neighborhood makes me nervous.
Three guys were walking around with tools.
I'll get us out of here.
You know, there's no such thing as a dream girl.
Do you think that my father thought that my mother was a dream girl?
No way!
Let me tell you something. This girl...
I am obsessed... This is meant to be. Preordained.
Dream girls were invented by God to tease the apparatus. That's all.
You settle for less.
- That's not the point. - What is?
Dream girls.
I'd rather not be looking for my dream girl...
...which I had to leave because you were fighting!
Do me a favor. Lose my number.
I don't know if I wanna continue this relationship.
Come on! Come on!
I think she's gonna go too far. We're going to jail.
Damn good act.
Some show. Best in years.
If she starts showing breasts without tassels, kill the spot.
If she takes off her underwear, kill the spot.
Nate, no! Nate, but...
No "buts. "
This is some act.
For 23 people.
I wasn't finished yet.
That's as much as you can show.
I wasn't gonna show more. I was gonna give it a proper ending.
Do it tomorrow.
My costume should be here by then.
This is your costume from now on.
You like?
I like.
You?
He likes.
I like.
I don't want you going out tonight.
Just going on the porch.
So what's the news? What's the big secret?
I was with Sylvia.
In her car.
No, her car?
Her mother's car.
You got laid.
Bare tit?
You ever hear Negro music?
I need details.
No, it was nothing like that. The music's great.
What the hell did you do?
We talked.
Talked? Bullshit.
No. I mean, we talked.
I hear they got soft skin.
I didn't touch her.
No details, I'm going home.
No. We talked a lot.
I mean, we talked about Negro singers and comics.
It was great, unbelievable.
She blew you.
- I don't believe you. - Why would I tell you I was with her?
I don't know.
You talked with a colored girl about comedy and music.
That's bullshit.
All in all, the take is up 9%.
Good, good.
Get a chair.
We're even getting some white business.
Coloreds and white betting numbers together. Does the heart good.
Look. Germantown, good.
Greektown, good. Even Pigtown. All white areas, they all show a bump.
I hear the state is thinking of a lottery.
Lukie Saperstein's been pushing that since the war.
It's popular in Annapolis. They want new revenue.
They should legalize gambling. Vegas is going through the roof.
They've already got slots in Anne Arundel County.
The farchadat government. They think they could run a numbers racket?
Lottery! It's unconstitutional.
They're taking money out of the mouth of the entrepreneur.
Smacks of socialism.
The government integrates the golf course in '51 and schools in '54.
Where's their priorities?
They integrated cricket in '50. Can't find a colored playing cricket.
That was part of the separate-but-equal ruling.
Coloreds could only play on Tuesdays.
You can't find one to play on Tuesday, Wednesday or kiss-my-tochis day.
You can't find a white person who wants to play cricket.
It makes no sense. How many players do you need? They use a mallet?
- Is that with hoops? - That's croquet.
- Croquet is something you eat. - Everything is something you eat.
I saw it in the menu.
Charlie, keep an eye on this. Just what we need. A state lottery.
Who is gonna testify first?
It's alphabetical, I guess.
You know, I tell you, I still cannot believe that we have to testify.
Trey Travelstead must've come on the Mayflower with Pilgrims.
You know, that whole Pilgrim thing makes me very uneasy. Very uneasy.
Alan, what time you got?
It's 12:30. We have to be in court at 2.
Let me ask you a stupid question.
You know all these lawyer shows. Perry Mason, the others.
They say in court, "Do you swear to tell the truth...
...the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you God?"
The witness always says, "Yeah. "
What if you say "no"?
What do you mean?
"I'll tell you what I know, but I won't swear to God. "
What happens?
Got me.
Interesting. I'll ask a law student.
Let's try it today.
Who?
Whoever's called first.
- It's good by me. - It's good by you?
Yeah, why not?
- No, that's good by me. - He's in.
Prosecution calls Sylvan Kurtzman to the stand.
Put your left hand on this Bible. Raise your right hand.
You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help you God?
No.
What?
No.
What's going on here?
You're a Communist! Nothing but a Commie!
Your Honor, he's a Red! I'm telling you...
...he's godless!
- Order! - You're a pinko!
Order! Order!
You're a Communist!
Order in the court!
I'd like to call a 10-minute recess. Counselors, see me in chambers.
- You may step down. - Thank you, sir.
The guy's got some serious balls. Gotta give him credit.
Every year, 50 or 60 Negroes pass for white.
You can't tell them apart, because they don't smile...
... so you can't see their gums.
So if you got a white friend that talks like this:
"Haven't seen you in a long time, pal. "
You open that sucker's mouth up, it might be one of them.
I didn't go to college myself, but I saw a lot of people go.
No, I didn't dig school.
Knowing when Washington crossed the Delaware...
... wouldn't help me in a brick fight.
They got nothing about ducking bricks in history.
I've never heard anything like this.
It's great, isn't it?
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
No matter what color you are, when the lights go out...
... it becomes a question of "Who washed?"
Mr. Kurtzman, you could be held in contempt of court...
...and I may have ruled so...
...but the prosecution has decided not to pursue this action.
- So you may step down. - Thank you, Your Honor.
Court calls Alan Zuckerman to the stand.
- State your full name. - Alan Joseph Zuckerman.
Place your left hand on this Bible. Raise your right hand.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help you God?
Yes.
Be seated.
Where were you on the night of October 28, 1954?
- The night of the accident? - Objection.
We have not established the nature of the accident...
...or that an accident did in fact occur.
Objection sustained.
Answer the question.
Well, if that wasn't the night of the accident...
...then I don't know where I was.
You gotta give me some kind of hint. Was that Halloween?
I just wanted to thank you for helping out.
It wasn't really about you.
If there's anything I can do for you, don't hesitate.
I certainly feel indebted.
Look, we'd like to offer an apology to your friend.
Ted was out of line.
- I didn't mean the way it came across. - Forget about it.
You know what? Maybe you can help me.
There was this girl at the party who was a knockout.
I don't know her name, but I'd really like to find out.
- What did she look like? - She was beautiful.
Blond. She was wearing this princess or Cinderella kind of costume.
You found her attractive?
She knocked me out.
Sound familiar?
I guess.
We'll ask around. Give me your number.
Yeah, sure thing.
She's blond. Had a magic wand.
Thanks.
I'll call.
Great.
What are you doing?
He was talking about Dubbie. Your girl, last time I asked.
He's a good guy.
We'll get another girl. There must be one he'd like.
What about Maggie? She's to die for.
Maggie, Caroline, Megan, one of them.
One bed, one record.
I'm sorry. Did I do that?
Well...
I'm sorry.
Does it happen that easily?
Not that I know of. No.
It just goes off like that?
Well, I think...
...I've been worked up, you know, all along, and...
You don't like the records?
No. I like the records.
I just think if it's...
...well, been percolating for a long time...
...it's got no place to go.
You have to use the bathroom?
It's right over there. Around the corner.
I'll be right back.
So do you think maybe we could do this tomorrow?
Well, I hope so. If my mom's out.
Oh, my God. It's my father.
- What do I do? - Get in the closet.
What are you doing? Don't you have homework?
I was just taking a break.
- Your mother call? - No.
But she said this morning to expect her early evening.
Get back to your homework.
What's going on?
I have a boy over.
But it was nothing. We were just listening to records. That's it.
And where is he?
He's in the closet.
If nothing went on, why is he in the closet?
Because he's white.
How could you do such a thing?
We didn't do anything.
What's his name?
Ben Kurtzman.
- Mr. Kurtzman? - Yes, sir.
Sylvia is not allowed to be with a white boy. It's not respectful.
I was respectful, sir.
- You're in my daughter's bedroom. - Yes, sir.
Mr. Kurtzman.
Would you come out of the closet?
Yes, sir.
Now?
I don't ever wanna see you with my daughter again.
At school you will be respectful and cordial...
...but no activities outside school. Is that clear?
Yes, sir. I just don't think...
It's very clear to my daughter. Don't you agree, Sylvia?
Yes.
Now, will you please leave?
He needs a ride home.
I'll drive him. Sylvia, you will remain here.
- This is your house? - Yes, sir.
Shouldn't you be getting out?
It's Sinatra, sir.
So?
You don't walk out on Frank, sir.
I mean, it would be too disrespectful.
I gotta go.
Okay, it's over now.
Good night, sir.
This is it. 2-2-3. The bonus was 4.
Listen. Do you know what that means on $50?
- $ 100,000. - We're screwed!
Screwed is not the word.
- Who bets $50 on a number? - Nobody bets $50.
Nobody bets $50.
What do we got in reserve?
We don't have enough to cover the bet.
Tell him, but he's at dinner!
I will call. All right?
- He's gonna kill me. - It's ringing.
Thanks, Ma.
What's up?
You're not gonna believe this.
I'm sick to my stomach.
Charlie, what?
Somebody hit the number and the bonus.
The payout is $ 100,000.
A hundred thousand...?!
Oh, my God. Are you sure?
I checked it six times over.
Jesus!
We don't have that kind of money.
I'm coming down.
What's happening?
I've gotta go.
We've got problems.
He's Little Melvin. Colored drug dealer on Pennsylvania Avenue.
Sells reefer. Strictly smalltime.
Bets 50 to celebrate his mother's birthday.
This wipes me out.
Little Melvin called. He's coming by to pick up his haul.
- You didn't let on? - No, no.
Listen, Nate, I feel responsible. The bonus was my idea.
To hell with this apology shit.
I bought the idea. Nobody bets 50 on a number.
A nickel, a dime, a buck. Five, tops.
$50, never. It's unheard of!
What'll we do?
We don't have a lot of time to find a solution.
So how come we never talk about what Dad does?
Because it's illegal.
But not that bad.
Is everything gonna be all right?
Your father takes care of himself.
Why don't you tell them about Patterson Park?
What about Patterson Park?
When your father was a teenager, he went over to Patterson Park.
Why, I'll never know.
He saw some guys playing ball, and he tried to get into the game.
One of the guys asked if your father was Jewish. He said he was.
One thing led to another, and your father was beaten up.
Black and blue.
After that, he went to the J.C.C. Every day after school to learn to box.
For six months, he trained every day.
Then he went back to Patterson Park.
Got up on a car and yelled:
"There's a Jew in the neighborhood!
Anyone who doesn't like it, step up. "
He beat up seven guys that day.
Your father takes care of himself.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
- And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Amen.
Mr. Melvin.
I'm thinking of giving you the southeast territory.
You take over the numbers. Long-term dollars.
You trying to Jew me out my money?
Watch your tongue.
I don't take shit from no Heb.
You coon, I'll put my fist down your throat!
You hook-nosed kike! Little Melvin don't take shit from nobody!
You're a dead man, you bush-monkey burrhead!
I ain't scared of nobody!
Back him up! Back him up!
Stop it!
Goddamn it! Stop it!
Stop it!
We've all come too far to stoop to this.
Charlie, get Little Melvin his money.
He won't see the big picture, that's his problem.
What's my problem?
I apologize. You make yourself comfortable.
Charlie's gonna get your money.
Exactly how big a picture is this here big picture?
The southeast territory generates just under 10 grand a month.
In less than a year, you've got payback.
After that, it's "ka-ching," day in, day out. That's what I had in mind.
Week in, week out?
It's your call. You go for the short-term money...
...or you go for the long haul.
All mine, now? Clean? No middleman?
Why you giving up the territory then?
Look, there's no question that 100,000 cuts into my cash flow.
I can live with that.
But this burlesque, it's too time-consuming.
You get a little older, your priorities change.